THE ‘EMOFEEDBACK’: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND FEEDBACK IN THE ACCOMPANIMENT PROCESSES
Abstract
This article analyzes the importance of feedback in the different processes of accompaniment and formal interpersonal relationships and proposes a new concept that incorporates the entire theoretical field of emotional intelligence: emofeedback, which is defined as the feedback processes that incorporate intelligence emotional in their approaches. From performance evaluations to tutoring, from mentoring activities to clinical interviews, feedback is analyzed from three basic principles: a) Feedback always aims to provide fact-based information. b) It is necessary to train in these types of techniques. c) Individuals can only improve if they are told to improve and are helped with adequate information on procedures and behaviors.
EL ‘EMOFEEDBACK’: LA INTELIGENCIA EMOCIONAL Y EL FEEDBACK EN LOS PROCESOS DE ACOMPAÑAMIENTO
Resumen
Este artículo analiza la importancia del feedback en los diferentes procesos de acompañamiento y relaciones interpersonales formales, y propone un nuevo concepto, que incorpora todo el campo teórico de la inteligencia emocional: el emofeedback, que se define como los procesos de feedback que incorporan la inteligencia emocional en sus planteamientos. Desde evaluaciones del desempeño hasta tutorías, desde actividades de mentoring hasta entrevistas clínicas, se analiza el feedback desde tres principios básicos: a) El feedback pretende siempre aportar información basada en hechos. b) Es preciso formarse en este tipo técnicas. c) Los individuos solo pueden mejorar si se les dice que mejoren y se les ayuda con información adecuada sobre procedimientos y comportamientos.
Keywords
Emofeedback, feedback, debriefing, emotional intelligence, performance evaluation, support, interview, assessment PALABRAS CLAVE: Emofeedback, feedback, debriefing, inteligencia emocional, evaluación del desempeño, acompañamiento, entrevista
INTRODUCTION
Is there anything more dangerous than dissatisfied and irresponsible gods who don't know what they want? With this question, Harari (2019: 456) ends his bestseller Sapiens, from animals to gods. Despite the amazing things humans are capable of, we remain unsure of our goals and appear as disgruntled as ever. That is why it is necessary to consider new approaches and new answers. None of them will have a complete solution. But it will be able to contribute to the design and construction of the contemporary person who lives before multiple arranges of proposals.
Since, in the 90s, authors like Martin Seligman and Ed Dunner affirmed that Psychology had to study not only mental illnesses but also mental strengths, Positive Psychology has taken important steps, proposing a path that claimed forgotten aspects of the human psyche. First, the return and constant recollection of the great phrase from the Oracle of Delphi "know thyself", repeated over and over again by Greek and Latin philosophers, and by modern positive psychotherapists. Without advancing in self-knowledge, it is not possible to walk with success or approach happiness. Secondly, the self-conviction that it is possible to achieve what I want is proposed to us as a rule of life, if I am fully convinced that I can. When Virgilio tells of a regatta in the Aeneid (V, 231) in which the ship that is behind finally manages to reach the finish line first, it is thanks to the fact that the rowers were convinced that they could win, possunt quia posse videntur (they can because they believe they can), he was affirming the fundamental importance of self- conviction in achieving success. Today the publications of Positive and Humanistic Psychology are very abundant and have helped the personal development and the feeling of self-confidence of many people, also facilitating simple and attractive “mantras” that reinforce and recall these proposals.
An analysis of contemporary ideas leads us to find the questions and solutions of techno-humanism and technoscience. Seventy thousand years ago, the cognitive revolution transformed the mind of the sapiens, thus turning an insignificant African ape into the owner of the world (Harari, 2018: 384). Techno-humanism proposes that a few additional changes in our genome and the reconnection of our brain will be enough to start a new cognitive revolution. Techno-humanism seeks to improve the human mind and give us access to unknown experiences and states of consciousness with which we are not familiar. This line of research has managed to achieve, through brain implants or electric headsets that read the mind, that disabled patients can move bionic limbs or use computers with the sole power of the mind. (Harari, 2016: 57). The attention helmet, for example, is the visible instrument of a research to control brain behaviors with electrodes. Direct current extracranial stimulators, in which the US military has been experimenting for years, can sharpen the attention span and improve the performance of soldiers, drone operators, air traffic controllers, snipers, and other personnel whose functions require long periods of intense attention.
To this cybernetic approach must be added the biochemical approach of the human person. According to this approach, our living, thinking, feeling, desiring... is the result of a series of biochemical processes that develop in different ways depending on the elements involved. The response they offer to anxiety, depression, stress, and other situations of the psyche is chemical, for which they propose to administer adequate medications in the necessary proportion so that the processes are chemically and, consequently, psychically normalized. However, reshaping the human mind is an extraordinarily complex and dangerous undertaking. The truth is that we do not fully understand the workings of the mind and its whys, the trial and error system is risky and carries consequences that are neither known nor desired.
In recent years, applications based on "big data" have multiplied. Everything seems subject to increasingly complex algorithms that claim to be capable of predicting the behavior of human beings as individuals and as groups. Data has conquered the upper echelons of science. Dataism holds that the universe consists of data flow and that the value of any phenomenon or entity is determined by its contribution to data processing. For politicians, businessmen, and intellectuals, dataism offers innovative technologies and immense powers. They have broken the traditional sequence of wisdom, in which humans distilled data to obtain information, distilled information to obtain knowledge, and knowledge was distilled into wisdom. Instead, dataists believe that humans can no longer cope with today's immense data streams, and consequently distill data into information, and much less into wisdom. The work of processing the data must be entrusted to electronic algorithms, whose capacity far exceeds the human brain (Harari, 2018: 401). Artificial Intelligence manages the algorithms and will make the decisions. Value is not about having experiences but transforming those experiences into data that flows. The truth seems like a concept from the past. Post-truth is built and the precise and necessary news (fake news) is created to obtain the answers we want to get.
The panorama of a future in which Positive Psychology continues to want to transmit its message, in difficult competition with technoscience, cybernetics, big data, algorithms, turns questions into labyrinths. Where are the old dichotomies of reason and emotion located today in cognitive and relational processes? Can we really accompany the processes?
Current approaches to science seem to offer new questions about the human being who seeks to disconnect intelligence from consciousness and transform from Homo Sapiens into Homo Deus. This apparently adverse context has encouraged us to face the challenge of presenting reflections and proposals that help to improve and focus the present and future of each person through a psychosociological technique such as emofeedback.
THE ACCOMPANIMENT PROCESSES: THE INTERVIEW
Every accompaniment process carries with it the intention of bringing about a change in another person. Besides, through one of its mechanisms, the evaluation interview, the right that everyone has to know what is thought of them and their work is satisfied, as well as to find a formal occasion to express wishes, anguish, work difficulties, family problems, promotion possibilities, aspirations, and so on.
There are numerous contexts and circumstances in which such an encounter is possible, as explained in the following sections.
Castaño (2003: 63) affirms that the term interview means to see each other. It has gone from being an exclusively journalistic technique that was limited to collecting information and then transmitting it to public opinion, to being a technique that is used by many professionals: lawyers, doctors, teachers, psychologists, researchers, managers, etc.
The interview is an information-gathering technique, in which a social relationship is established between two actors, the interviewer and the interviewee, who exchange information to achieve a previously set objective. When proposing this definition, the authors speak of three key aspects:
a) The fundamental role played by the interviewer and the interviewee.
b) That it is never an anonymous and distant relationship, but a face-to-face relationship, which is why it carries the pros and cons of an interpersonal relationship.
c) That, for the interview to be operational, that is, to achieve the specific purposes of each specific interview, it is necessary to previously set objectives and establish a plan, even a brief one.
Tomando como base a Puchol (2010:72) existen unas fases mínimas de toda entrevista:
1. Preparation: Determination of the objectives, type of interview, area of exploration, the requirement of data prior to the subject or activity, determination of the physical environment...
2. Reception: Arrival of the participants, greeting, surroundings, reassuring elements
3. Rapport establishment: Creation of a relationship of trust, a human environment that facilitates communication
4. Communication of the rules of the game : Communication of the goals, duration, and reason for the interview, if not known.
5. Exchange of information: Central nucleus of the interview, with techniques to provide and collect information, in which the role of the interviewer will progressively give prominence to the information that the interviewee can provide.
6. Data collection: Brief notes that complement the information provided in the interview and that do not, in any case, involve reaching the level of tension of a judicial statement or an interrogation.
7. Preparation of the closing: Determined by the interviewer when he has all the data or when the previously established time has been reached.
8. Farewell: The signal that the interview has ended can be, among others, asking a final question, as a summary.
9. Evaluation: After the interview, it is necessary to reserve time for the decision-making that it originated, prepare the mandatory reports, order notes or ideas...
In short, the interview is the realization of every accompaniment process and can be successfully adapted to each circumstance. Let's analyze the different contexts in which this valuable communication technique occurs most often.
Education
The education interview takes place preferably between the teacher and the student, with the main objective of evaluating, mentoring, and offering information on the performance of the latter. It usually includes recommendations, corrections, indications, or all kinds of information with which to solve any doubts that may arise. These interviews are not only about evaluating knowledge related to learning, but also about offering solutions that improve the willingness to learn of children and young people. They are called in different ways: tutorials, review sessions, teacher-student meetings..., and are aimed at a) providing information and b) gathering information. At present, it is essential to complete the acquisition of knowledge with these increasingly necessary techniques: learning requires personal effort, tutelage. The figure of the teacher is still key. All technological means help, complement, and multiply their action, but they do not replace it.
The company
The business world uses the interview as the basis for so-called performance evaluation systems. Generally, those responsible for Human Resources are the ones who put these systems into operation, which also allow them to be linked to internal promotion mechanisms based on results, skills, and potential. Feedback, in this case, allows correcting deviations from the objectives -usually annual ones- set for the employee and offers relevant, measurable, and sustainable results. To the evaluation interview, in many other cases, we must add positive feedback without further ado: recognition of the work carried out that highlights the effort or achievement.
The clinical interview
Of all the processes for obtaining and offering information, the doctor-patient interview is the one that has been written the most about in recent years from a scientific point of view 1 . In this interview, it is essential to know how to say things to avoid risks of pharmacological non-compliance and improve adherence to the drug, and, therefore, the health and well-being of an individual and society as a whole. The professional, in these cases, must adapt the feedback to the different circumstances, through situational techniques and procedures, that is to say: adapted to each context: age, physical conditions, cultural level...
Coaching
Coaching is one of the most successful contemporary accompaniment techniques in the West. It is a technique for personal improvement and transformation through the extraction and formulation of questions to the client that focus and help determine their objective. Even being on the border between psychotherapy, Positive Psychology, and a certain naturalistic root, coaching seeks to improve the quality of life and help the coachee to set personal (life coaching) or professional (executive coaching) goals.
Mentoring
Mentoring 2 is based on a tutelage relationship, in such a way that the mentor directs the pupil's steps, or because they have already gone through similar situations or experiences, or because their position in the company or organization is hierarchically superior. As a technique, it is more directive than coaching, and focuses, above all, on the preparation of future leaders, who are being trained for the new responsibilities.
Peer-to-peer processes4
Peer-to-peer processes, using the technological simile, being even more complex in their implementation, also require feedback from both parties. Imagine two school-age children, one of whom is chosen to help or accompany another (usually the 'new' or newcomer). In these educational contexts, the peer-tutor must analyze the information available to them and guide the other child in the assigned task or their integration process. Also, companies or armed forces include tutelage elements between equals. In this case, there is no functional hierarchy in the previous interviews.
In summary, we can find advantages and disadvantages of the face-to-face processes discussed in the previous lines, although the problems raised are avoidable with an increase in the training of the interviewer in specific techniques, to have more information to decide.
|
ADVANTAGES |
DISADVANTAGES |
|
• Obtaining a large amount of information not only from objective data but also from attitudes, perceptions, emotions, etc... that can be collected in depth and detail. • It allows insisting to clarify and complete those aspects that interest us most. • Information can be completed through observation. • It allows adjusting the level of the language of the interview based on the reactions of the interviewee. • There is the possibility of creating or improving the bond between the interviewer and the interviewee. • It has great flexibility both in the degree of structuring and in the application time. • It is the only procedure that allows capturing the non-verbal communication of the subject, and in the case of the selection interview, it allows us to calibrate their presentation, clothing, apparent physical defects, oral behavior, etc. |
• An experienced interviewer is needed to avoid inferences that could contaminate the information with subjective aspects. • There must be harmony between the interviewer and the interviewee so that the collaboration between both is the best possible. • It is a time-consuming technique. • The results can be contaminated by personal perceptions of the interviewers, so it is difficult to collect objective information with which we can later compare, as would be the case of personnel selection interviews. • Among the main causes of error in the interview, we can mention the halo effect, generalizations, projection, central tendency, extreme tendencies, contagion, etc. |
Source: Castaño (2003)
FEEDBACK
Feedback is a powerful communication tool that is related to various aspects of daily activity, such as:
a) Make constructive criticism, that is to say: that they modify the behavior of the person to whom it is offered.
b) Evaluate the performance of collaborators, subordinates, employees, and people in the organization.
c) Communicate adequately with others, especially during work meetings and other daily activities.
d) Present the expectations we have about a newcomer to the organization, a new colleague, in formal and informal contexts.
e) Jointly evaluate work teams effectively.
f) Offer information to candidates during their performance throughout selection processes.
g) Increase technical skills in a job or a learning environment.
h) Offer valuable information to the doctor or patient in the course of clinical interviews.
i) Motivate team members to achieve a challenge or successfully complete a project.
j) Improve family relationships.
Giving good feedback helps the other person learn and open up to other points of view.
Feedback as a communication process
Many of the current problems of human organizations are directly related to a lack of feedback (especially professional):
• They don't listen to me
• I don't feel integrated
• I am afraid to say my opinión
• I try to avoid conflict
• I find out last about things
• I don't let others express themselves
• There are misunderstandings in my organization
• There are bridges in the department
• I am a victim of hallway conversations
• Worsening of interpersonal relationships
For Moar (2013: 107), it is an underrated and feared tool, although when used properly it is extremely effective.
There is a direct relationship between feedback and communication. From a classical point of view, the feedback or return information completes the communication cycle because it returns the information from the receiver to the sender and thus confirms that he has indeed been heard, or, at least, that the message has been received in a certain way.
Let us remember the five axioms of communication that Paul Watzlawick postulated in the sixties:
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It is impossible not to communicate
-
All communication has a content level and a relationship level
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The process is cyclical
-
Communication can be digital and analog
-
The exchanges can be symmetrical or complementary
Regarding this last point, most of the structured feedback processes are carried out within the framework of asymmetric relationships, in which there is a hierarchy, a difference in status between the two parties that intervene in the process. Hence, it is necessary for a collaborator, for example, to receive information on how they are doing -concerning the criteria of their superior- to improve and adapt their performance to the needs of the organization.
Also in it, as in any communication process, non-verbal aspects must be taken into account: body posture, movement, spaces,... which will also offer information on some complementary aspects, especially when we want to analyze the quality of our feedback.
Ten steps for effective feedback
We propose below these lines a sequence of actions that must be taken into account so that the feedback is adequate, that is to say: that it allows us to provide relevant information for personal improvement, and in the same way, collect the necessary information so as not to venture into judgments of value or subjectivism.
Be clear about the goal
The purpose of the feedback is to provoke constant growth in the recipient, to have more independence, and to notice improvement areas and positive points. In general terms, the objective of all feedback is to offer information to improve; Specifically, it is intended for people to have control over their professional career, academic progress, or personal challenges. Feedback, therefore, is not, or at least not only, a criticism; it is above all about analyzing and communicating the aspects that can be improved.
Consider the type of feedback
Feedback can be given to another person about their behavior, their attitude, their involvement in a project, their commitment to an institution... and this can be:
• Positive: It serves to give recognition to the other person or work team. Positive feedback, especially in a professional or family environment, is enormously powerful. They make you feel valued, wanting to continue in the job, and committed to the task.
• Constructive: This is “negative feedback” and is used to offer points for improvement. Furthermore, even though it is the most difficult, it is the most used, since talking about negative points in time contributes to the improvement and identification of problems more quickly and efficiently.
It is necessary to offer proposals and practically present possible measures that guide and provoke growth in the other. Giving good feedback is not an easy task, so you have to be aware before offering some difficult messages to achieve a greater benefit for everyone.
Collect information
As giving feedback is, above all, offering information received from the environment, what should a good observation be like? Looking for concrete evidence and answering the following questions: What data do we have about this person? How did they react to feedback in previous interviews? What data do I need to obtain to make a decision? In the evaluation processes, it is useful, therefore, to reflect, after each interview, and attaching it to their history, some summarized indication that allows us to remember some significant aspect, if any, of the problems, reactions, or character. What has been learned from the success or failure of the interview in past situations can help us establish true communication each time we meet again.
Analyze the moment
There are essential factors before offering feedback, such as the time of day, one's own or the other's state of mind before giving feedback. It is essential and reflects empathy to know how to adapt the times for the success of the meeting and the positive changes that are expected from it. Let's not forget that with our information we are analyzing results, not intentions, objective facts, not subjective perceptions associated with our prejudices. For feedback to be correct and understood there must be a neutral and dialogue attitude.
A feedback session is not a scolding, nor an admonition: it is about offering a path of improvement so that our interlocutor grows personally and professionally.
On the other hand, if we are worried, angry, or have other problems in mind, we will not listen. Emotions can also alter the interpretation of the facts by the other. That is why it is important to be attentive to all kinds of significant reactions that the interviewee may present and that indicate an emotional alteration, prudently explaining the feeling that we think we perceive, with these types of questions: “Is there anything you think is wrong in what I just said?”, “Did what I said bother you? It was not my intention", "Are you worried about something that I have just transmitted to you?", "Tell me what doubts you have about this."
Get to the point
The conciseness in the information, without losing any valuable data that contributes to the improvement of our interlocutor, increases the quality and effects of feedback. In other words: if there is some concrete fact that is moving away from the objective or is worsening the result, we must be as concrete as possible, as direct as possible. Going around the problem will not help the other see what they can do to solve it.
We cannot clearly explain something to another unless we have thought about it beforehand. We must know what we want to say before we say it. It is preferable not to go into a subject that we do not master or about which we doubt. We can almost always defer our response with one of these formulas:
• "I am going to study this problem further and will give you my opinion later"
• “I want to study this matter. I want to be sure of getting right what I tell you"
• “Let me think it over slowly. I'll answer you"
In these cases, the recommendation is to go back to the third point: write down the facts and behaviors; it will prevent us from going around the bush.
Facts and not interpretations
The feedback that is based on interpretations does not contribute to the final objective of it. Thus, everything we say must be based on observable and indisputable facts. An impromptu meeting increases the probability of falling into erroneous interpretations, little consistency between the effects and the causes that produce them. Some observable facts can be:
• "In the last 30 days, you have been more than an hour late for work on ten occasions."
• "You have not volunteered on any occasion in which it has been requested by the teacher."
• "You have five customer evaluations with ten points out of ten possible."
• “You have participated in seven meetings of the quality circle of your department”.
• "You've come home only once before midnight all summer."
The objective data, since they do not formally imply a value judgment, do not provoke emotional reactions that could hinder the object of the feedback or more simply "put oneself on guard" against an attack by the evaluator.
Avoid forbidden words
Some expressions do not contribute to creating a favorable climate for feedback. Adverbs and phrases such as 'always', 'never', 'definitely', generate an evaluative judgment that does not allow the behavior to be modified. On the other hand, the adversarial conjunction 'but' opposes a later amendment to a statement, so in many cases, it demotivates or trivializes many statements. It is not recommended to give negative feedback on identity either ("you are like that"). Let's avoid direct attacks, forbidden words, inappropriate moments or channels, and let's be specific and concrete. Therefore, it is more effective to say “you are late” than to comment “you are unpunctual”.
When you…
It is recommended to use corrective expressions such as, 'when you act in this way, the consequences for the organization are…'. Any feedback that refers to subjective attitude rather than behavior is a source of conflict and misunderstanding. An example of this shift could be: "when you do not fill in the incident report, the company does not know which customer to contact and we all lose an opportunity."
Use the reverse sandwich
In moments of constructive feedback, it is advisable to start and end with something good. The idea is not to affect the recipient's self-esteem but to empower them to improve and encourage them to continue with their positive actions. If we mix the important things with those that are not, the other will be confused and will not know what to expect. They won't listen to us unless what we're saying is important and makes sense to them. We can demand the other's attention by emphasizing certain issues we want them to pay attention to, along with their justification.
Get feedback on your feedback
How to know if our feedback is proving adequate? There are corrective mechanisms that allow knowing if the feedback is useful for the one who receives it. Remember that there are many ways to recognize people: awards, financial incentives, plaques, or gifts. But if there is no real good feedback from an organization, everything loses its value.
|
MOMENT |
ELEMENT |
|
BEFORE |
• Is it periodic and not concrete? • Did I think about it before? |
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DURING |
• Was I timely? • Was I concerned to know if the person was receptive? • Did I focus on their behavior (not their person)? • Did I make a factual description without evaluating them? • Was I specific enough? • Did I work on the WHAT, not the WHY? • Did I give them feedback on things that they could change? • Did I guide him to improve and not to vent? |
|
AFTER |
• Did I ask about their final impressions, their doubts, or possible comments on the improvement of the session or the feedback as a whole? • Do I keep the results in the form of annotations or comments that may be useful to me? |
Source: Self-made from Moar (2013)
A simple admonition, a decontextualized criticism, or simple advice or warning cannot be considered to be feedback stricto sensu. Perhaps, quite the opposite: not considering feedback as a process, taking ideas that are exclusively the result of a non-verified experience, skipping some of the previous points, or openly manifesting ignorance of who we are in front of, does not obey the purpose of all feedback, which is, let's repeat it, change behaviors.
Debriefing as a prospective method
Just as feedback is based on generally observable facts or behaviors, we offer in these lines one more step to collect feedback information in the different processes in which we participate. Debriefing is a deconstruction of an event that allows it to be analyzed in-depth, generally based on questions (debrief).
Debriefing responds to the main question about an event: what happened? And more specifically: how could you have done it differently? What lessons learned do you take away from the situation?
|
|
With judgment |
Without judgment |
With good judgment |
|
The effective teacher |
Helps the participant to change by telling them where they went wrong |
Helps the participant to change by providing questions so that they can see where they went wrong |
Creates a context for learning and change |
|
The main objective of the debriefing |
External: the participant's actions and inactions |
External: the participant's actions and inactions |
Internal: the meanings and assumptions of both the instructor and the participant |
|
How is the participant considered? |
A person who takes actions and makes mistakes |
A person who takes actions and makes mistakes |
A person whose actions are the consequence of specific assumptions, knowledge, and attitudes |
|
Who knows the truth about the situation? |
The teacher/the observer |
The teacher/the observer |
The teacher has their perspective and the participants theirs |
|
Who does not understand? |
The participant |
The participant |
The instructor |
|
Attitude towards oneself and the participant |
«I, the instructor, am going to put you in your place» «I am right» or «You are wrong» |
«I, the instructor, will find the kindest way to tell you how to do it right» «I'm right» or «You're wrong», but «I don't want you to get defensive, so how do I get to politely tell you what you don't like and make you change?» |
«I see what you are or are not doing and, given my point of view, I don't understand it» Genuine confusion and inquiry to understand the meaning of the participant's actions Respect for oneself («I have an opinion about what happened that makes me think that there have been some problems...») Respect for the participant («You are also competent and try to do your best and have your vision of what happened...») «I am going to face it as a real problem to be solved and I will find out how to solve it» (we can both learn something that makes us change) |
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The purpose of the teacher's words |
«I am teaching you» «I'll tell you how to do it» |
«I am teaching you» «I'll tell you how to do it» |
«Help me to understand...» |
Source: Adapted from M Maestre and Rudolph (2015)
In many cases, these techniques can be applied to multiple subjects simultaneously. The football coach who brings his team together after the game to evaluate or analyze the situation and draw conclusions is a good example of this.
In our training experience in outdoor environments, debriefing represents a qualitative advance when working with teams. After the group activity, the observers, who have written down the decisions that the different leaders have made, help the team to dissect -deconstruct- the activity to interpret it and obtain clues for the future.
EMOFEEDBACK: FEEDBACK WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Emotional intelligence emerged in the 20th century as a reworking of the concepts of social intelligence and social skills. After the irruption of Gardner´s multiple intelligences and the theoretical conceptualization of Salovey and Mayer, it is Goleman who universalizes the concept.
Feedback cannot be restricted to simply providing information, with the somewhat idealistic purpose that the other improves with the performance data alone. Without adding emotional intelligence to our feedback processes, the end goal, which is personal change, will not be achieved. For this reason, it is necessary to complete the feedback, to spice it up in some way, with the five characteristics of emotional intelligence.
• Self-awareness, which is the ability to identify one's strengths and weaknesses. This reasonable self-concept, based on avoiding the two extremes that are overvaluation and undervaluation, should be an essential requirement for those who are willing to offer feedback.
• Self-regulation: A person offering feedback to another must control their emotions during the process. That ‘count to ten’, in these cases, must be mandatory. On many occasions, harsh criticism or loss of control when reprimanding a collaborator reflects low self-esteem of the subject doing the evaluation.
• Self-motivation: The desire to improve oneself, well-directed, leads to wanting to improve others. Motivation, the motus (motor, motive) to do something, acts as the element that drives, the reason for our behaviors. 3
• Empathy: Empathy is Goleman's fourth pillar in his theory of emotional intelligence. The relationship with the other person can be notably strengthened, in a feedback interview, if they realize that we remember them, we know who they are, and we can treat them not as just another number or one more patient, but as “their-name” with their peculiarities and personal characteristics.
• Social ability: The continuous practice of human treatment and relationship is the best guarantee of improvement of this last aspect of Emotional Intelligence.
We define emofeedback as the method of incorporating Emotional Intelligence criteria into feedback processes. This method is based on two components:
a) Internal component: made up of those behaviors of the evaluator related to their capacities for self-awareness, self-regulation, and self-motivation. They are personal aspects that have a primary origin in the individual's self-perception.
b) External component: it is made up of the evaluator's behaviors related to their empathy and social skills. It is the social side, the public image of the evaluator.
|
Component |
Behavior |
Results |
|
Internal |
I1. Know your weaknesses and possible reactions to unpleasant stimuli during a feedback interview. |
• Peace of mind as an interviewer in the face of possible doubts or inconveniences that may arise. • Knowledge at another level of depth of your possibilities. |
|
I2. Look for reasons to carry out a successful session and its repercussion on the well-being of the human group, company, team, or organization. |
• Transfer your state of mind to the interlocutor. • Improved non-verbal language. |
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|
I3. Knowing the reasons that lead you to want the personal and professional improvement of your interlocutor. |
• Stay in the focus of the session. • Improvement of your self-knowledge and your limits in the evaluation. |
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|
I4. Suppress the impulses to answer statements or criteria with which we do not agree. |
• Improved communication. • Increased resilience capacity. • Strengthening of listening skills. |
|
|
I5. Be clear about our priorities and the end goal before starting the process. |
• Elusions or silences during the interview. • Reduction of forgetfulness or mistakes. |
|
|
External |
E1. Show real interest in the other person during the interview. |
• Generation of a climate of trust permeable to improvement and communication. |
|
E2. Share points of view, doubts, or sincerely ask for clarification. |
• Consolidation of the climate of trust. Opening to new relevant information. |
|
|
E3. Avoid both extremes: indifference to the interlocutor (apathy) and the intercommunication of emotions that cancels the final message (sympathy). Avoid being 'emotional sponges'. |
• Objectification of feedback. • The satisfaction of both parties. • A permanent control of the situation. • Savings of emotional resources. |
|
|
E4. Interpret all responses as well-meaning. |
• Absence of conflict. A propensity to search for solutions. |
|
|
E5. Make out, verbalizing it if necessary, the importance of contributing humanity, love for the truth, compassion, self-improvement… in our work, family, and relational spheres. |
• Humanization of the process. • Continuity of the interpersonal relationship. |
Source: Self-made
In this way, these ten behaviors, compatible with the ten steps of effective feedback, will accelerate the improvement processes.
Source: Self-made
CONCLUSIONS
The accompaniment processes are a reality in all social, educational, and organizational spheres. Phenomena such as mentoring show the importance of effective communication schemes between two people: one who gathers information to support, help and advise another, who tries to grow and overcome obstacles that, if they did it alone, they would not be able to. Any two-way process requires an adequate staging that serves the main objective of communication, which is the exchange of relevant, sincere, and transformative information.
For this same reason, the feedback has been recovering its key role in communication processes in recent years. If its essential function of responding and demonstrating with data that communication has been carried out, is complemented with the elements of emotional intelligence known to all, which avoid communication problems and conflicts in relationships, many more people will be able to approach feedback with higher expectations of improvement. Everyday actions such as correcting, constructively criticizing, accompanying, improving behavior, helping those who are in difficulties... require adequate preparation and a special touch adaptable to each individual, as has already been noted elsewhere in this article, 'situational actions' that help to build trust in said accompaniment processes. Only by knowing the true motives of the other's actions, can we judge them fairly.
They say that a girl asked her father to tell her stories every night. She would sit on his knees and for an hour he would tell her stories. One day the father had the idea of recording the stories on a cassette so that his daughter could listen to them alone in bed, while he worked in his office. This worked for a few days, but then the daughter came to ask him to read the stories to her. The father told her: "But, daughter: the cassette tells them the same as me." She replied: "What happens, daddy, is that I want to sit on your knees."